There is a big misunderstanding among people about what goals are and how to correctly set your goals. A lot of times, that is also the reason why people fail to achieve them.
In order for us to be able to achieve a goal, we need to know:
- Until when do we want to achieve it?
- Precise quantity (if we talk about money, it’s not enough to say “I want to be rich”)
- Is it dependant on you or others?
- How will you know that you have achieved it?
Where the main misunderstanding comes from, is not knowing the difference between a state and a goal. Many people think that for example confidence or happiness is a goal. But it’s actually a state. And any kind of state can be achieved instantaneously, therefore it is not a goal. Being happy is definitely a consequence of other things, such as achieving your goals, but it is not a goal. And confidence is a result of competence and experience.
How to create a compelling goal
Let’s do an exercise for setting a compelling goal. That way you will see how easy it is and you can do it yourself. It is the exact procedure I do with my clients.
Reflection on the current state
Ask yourself these questions:
- What is my problem?
- What is the reason I have this problem?
- Who’s fault is it?
- Why haven’t I solved it yet?
Creating a compelling goal
For this part, use your vivid imagination. It really helps if you can actually create a picture in you mind and see it, feel it, hear it with as much details as possible.
- What do I want?
- How will I know I’ve got it?
- What resources, skills do I need to achieve this? What skills do I already have?
- Have I ever done anything similar or do I know someone who did?
- What is the next step?
Really dive deep into these questions, because the more clearly you answer them, the more realistic the goal will seem. And easier it will be to set your goals that actually resonate with you.
On my sessions I even do a visualisation with my clients to add as many sensory elements as possible. I utilize the biohacking portal FlowHub7® where I have access to more than 700 triggers which help my clients with their progress.
If you are interested in FlowHub7®, you can use my personal code for 10% off on your subscription.
Positive framing
Now, don’t roll your eyes, I am not going to tell you to smile and be all zen (even though that’s not a bad place to be). What I mean by positive framing is that when you are creating your goals, try to find words which exclude negatives. For example if your goal is to be rich, don’t frame it “I don’t want to be poor”.
You might not be aware of this, but your subconscious mind does not understand negatives. If I tell you right now “Don’t think about a sandy beach.” what comes to your mind? A sandy beach.
So make sure that when you are choosing words for your goal, they are stated in the positive. Instead of “I don’t want to be fat anymore.” say “I want to be healthy and fit.” Set your goals in a way that they will seem appealing to you, not as something you will want to run away from.
You are the creator
By that I mean, that your goal needs to be solely up to you. Because if it’s not, we can not guarantee, that external events and circumstances, will not prevent you from achieving it. And the only world, we can really influence is ours.
So when you plan to set your goals, ask yourself this question: Does it depend on anyone else or does it depend on me?
If the answer will be, someone else, try to reframe your goal so that you will claim the ownership. For example, let’s say you are struggling with eating healthy. You will not set your goal “I want my grandma to stop feeding me with her delicious muffins.” but you will frame it, “I want to be able to say no to sweets.”
Taking time and writing your goals is really worth the effort. Take it from my own experience. Often times, we think we are clear on what our goals are, but it is only when we actually sit down and start writing them, that we realize how many additional questions we have in order to be completely clear what we want.
And when you have that clarity, all you need to do is create an action plan. Because no matter how big or small your goal is, you need to take a step by step approach in order to achieve it. And remember find your state of flow and go for it! You’ve got this!
If you need additional help with setting your goals and actually achieving them, go to the Book a session page and reach out. I am here for you!