How to set your goals, so that you can actually achieve them?

Goals Horvat Maja

There is a big misunderstanding among people about what goals are and how to correctly set your goals. A lot of times, that is also the reason why people fail to achieve them.

In order for us to be able to achieve a goal, we need to know:

  • Until when do we want to achieve it?
  • Precise quantity (if we talk about money, it’s not enough to say “I want to be rich”)
  • Is it dependant on you or others?
  • How will you know that you have achieved it?

Where the main misunderstanding comes from, is not knowing the difference between a state and a goal. Many people think that for example confidence or happiness is a goal. But it’s actually a state. And any kind of state can be achieved instantaneously, therefore it is not a goal. Being happy is definitely a consequence of other things, such as achieving your goals, but it is not a goal. And confidence is a result of competence and experience.

How to create a compelling goal

Let’s do an exercise for setting a compelling goal. That way you will see how easy it is and you can do it yourself. It is the exact procedure I do with my clients.

Reflection on the current state

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What is my problem?
  • What is the reason I have this problem?
  • Who’s fault is it?
  • Why haven’t I solved it yet?

Creating a compelling goal

For this part, use your vivid imagination. It really helps if you can actually create a picture in you mind and see it, feel it, hear it with as much details as possible.

  • What do I want?
  • How will I know I’ve got it?
  • What resources, skills do I need to achieve this? What skills do I already have?
  • Have I ever done anything similar or do I know someone who did?
  • What is the next step?

Really dive deep into these questions, because the more clearly you answer them, the more realistic the goal will seem. And easier it will be to set your goals that actually resonate with you.

On my sessions I even do a visualisation with my clients to add as many sensory  elements as possible. I utilize the biohacking portal FlowHub7® where I have access to more than 700 triggers which help my clients with their progress.

If you are interested in FlowHub7®, you can use my personal code for 10% off on your subscription.

Flow Influencer Voucher
Click here to see the FlowHub7 website

Positive framing

Now, don’t roll your eyes, I am not going to tell you to smile and be all zen (even though that’s not a bad place to be). What I mean by positive framing is that when you are creating your goals, try to find words which exclude negatives. For example if your goal is to be rich, don’t frame it “I don’t want to be poor”.

You might not be aware of this, but your subconscious mind does not understand negatives. If I tell you right now “Don’t think about a sandy beach.” what comes to your mind? A sandy beach.

So make sure that when you are choosing words for your goal, they are stated in the positive. Instead of “I don’t want to be fat anymore.” say “I want to be healthy and fit.” Set your goals in a way that they will seem appealing to you, not as something you will want to run away from.

You are the creator

By that I mean, that your goal needs to be solely up to you. Because if it’s not, we can not guarantee, that external events and circumstances, will not prevent you from achieving it. And the only world, we can really influence is ours.

So when you plan to set your goals, ask yourself this question: Does it depend on anyone else or does it depend on me?

If the answer will be, someone else, try to reframe your goal so that you will claim the ownership. For example, let’s say you are struggling with eating healthy. You will not set your goal “I want my grandma to stop feeding me with her delicious muffins.” but you will frame it, “I want to be able to say no to sweets.

Taking time and writing your goals is really worth the effort. Take it from my own experience. Often times, we think we are clear on what our goals are, but it is only when we actually sit down and start writing them, that we realize how many additional questions we have in order to be completely clear what we want.

And when you have that clarity, all you need to do is create an action plan. Because no matter how big or small your goal is, you need to take a step by step approach in order to achieve it. And remember find your state of flow and go for it! You’ve got this!


If you need additional help with setting your goals and actually achieving them, go to the Book a session page and reach out. I am here for you!

What is transformational coaching

Horvat Maja Transformational coaching

Personal coaching in general is the process of helping people and teams perform at the peak of their abilities. It involves drawing out people’s strenghts, helping them to overcome limiting beliefs in order to achieve their personal best.

What coaching is not, is a form of therapy. Many times clients believe that coach is going to help them with deep emotional and sometimes even clinically diagnosed conditions. These realms are out of the scope of a personal coach and should be adressed by professional doctors and therapists with official degrees in these areas. Personal coaching is seen as a beneficial addition to other forms of healing but should never be a substitution for it.

Transformational coaching

What I mean, when I say that I am a transformational coach, is that I take you on a journey of a self-exploration and transformation. Because at the end of my coaching programmes I want you to come out a new person, a different person that you where when we first met. I want to help you transform into the best version of yourself. The person that you aspire to be.

Many times people are afraid of change. That’s ok, it’s completely human to be afraid of change. But that should not stop us from changing anyway. And that is the main difference between those who thrive and those who stay in the same place. High achievers are not fearless, they just do things despite the fear of unknown. Because that’s what transformation is, going into the unknown.

Transformational coaching aims at achieving the so called state of flow. If you’ve never heard of this term, read my other article on the topic HERE.

The state of flow is the utlimate version of you. It’s when you are performing at your best. And with transformational coaching I want to give you the tools and teach you to be able to get into that desired state whenever you need to. Transformational coaching is not a single-use solution for a single problem. It’s a longterm transformation of an individual who after the coaching programme is able to successfully implement the tools in any area of their life as these newly acquired skills and abilities are theirs for life.

What exactly can I transform and change?

That is up to you. Almost anything. As the tools and techniques are applicable to a wide range of problems, situations and challenges, there is almost no limits in what transformational coaching can do for you.

You may have a certain belief that is preventing you from achieving something. We call this kind of belief a limiting belief. We all have them. The question is if we are aware of them and how to change them so that they no longer limit us.

Another example of what can be changed is a certain type of behaviour that you do in your life that you know is not good for you, but you just don’t know how to stop doing it. Many times this is closely connected with your values and beliefs. So with coaching we can tap into that behaviour and see where the problem really lies.

Have you ever heard of phobias? Perhaps you even have one? Neurolinguistic programming is very successful in dealing with phobias and fears and overcoming them.

Very common thing that I help my clients do is goal setting. Practically it’s part of every coaching package but if a client is interested goal setting skills can be further discussed and learnt so that they can easily use them in other areas of their life. Just imagine how many times you are setting goals in your professional projects, because you understand that without knowing what you actually want, you can not achieve it. It’s the exact same with your personal life. We need to be clear on what our goals are in order to be able to achieve them. But how many people you know, that are actually setting clear goals in their personal lives? I bet not that many. Well, I think that’s one of the biggest mistakes we are doing.

Hopefuly you have seen and understood better how transformational coaching can change your life for the better. There are many materials online which you can search for and learn from. But if you want to get on that “Success train” fast, the best way is to reach out to a coach and sign up for a ride of your life! Noone has ever regret investing into themselves.

The state of flow or being “in the zone”

Horvat Maja Flow coach

The experience of flow is universal and it has been reported to occur across different classes, genders, ages, cultures. The flow state can be experienced in many types of activities. Optimal experiences are described in the same way by men and women, by young people and old, regardless of cultural differences.

It was reported in essentially the same words by old women from Korea, by adults in Thailand and India, by teenagers in Tokyo, by Navajo shepherds, by farmers in the Italian Alps, and by workers on the assembly line in Chicago.

Plato described flow ecstasis as an altered state where our normal waking consciousness vanishes completely. It gets replaced by intense euphoria and a powerful connection to greater intelligence.

In their own ways, with differing languages, techniques, and applications, each of these groups has been quietly seeking the same thing: the flow.

It has been described in many cultures in the past, including the Hindu Mahabharata and Daoist texts in China. There is also an old saying in Japan, which appears to indicate the flow experienced while riding a horse, according to Iwata: “Anjyo hito naku, anka uma nashi.” This means riding a horse so skillfully that it appears as if man and horse have become one.

We all remember those times when we were playing our favorite sport with so much focus that we completely lost ourselves in it. We lost ourselves in the moment, so much that before we know it, the time has already flown by. Or when we are sitting with a coffee glued to a fascinating book and something causes us to break our concentration. But then you look at the time and realize several hours have passed.

A sense of extreme happiness, connectedness, and harmony pervade into your being. You feel in tune with the task, moving with accuracy and composure, you don’t fully understand but at the same time enjoying it. You might not be aware of it, but you’re in the zone. You’re in the state of flow.

One of the reasons why practices that boost flow have positive & scientifically measurable health and psychological effects is because they somewhat disconnect us from the attachments that constantly take up mental energy and generate dissonance.
This allows us to be selfless, clear-headed, focused & driven more easily.

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What is neurolinguistic programming and why should you care

Horvat Maja Neurolinguistic programming

You might be wondering what is neurolinguistic programming?

It is a study of the mind. It is understanding how our brain works and why we do the things we do, when we do them, even if sometimes we do not understand why. 

Neurolinguistic programming is a set of techniques and practical tools which can help us in improving our life. We can change bad habits and understand our mind on a deeper level. It also helps us understand our values and can help us overcome our phobias and fears. 

There are many practical tools and applications of NLP techniques. The amazing thing is that we can apply them to wide array of challenges and problems that we are facing in our daily life. 

Neurolinguistic programming is based on scientific research and yet it has something mystical to it that we don’t always understand. It is the result of the techniques which access our subconscious mind and create fundamental changes. Those can be then later visible in our behaviour, way of thinking and generally our state of mind.

The tools which we use in the NLP sessions may sometimes seem strange and funny and it is not always necessary to understand how they affect us. The only important thing is that we believe they can. 

What is so amazing with NLP and why so many people utilize it to change and improve their lives is, that we can make instant changes. No matter how many years a person has been struggling with a certain problem, negative behaviour, limiting belief or a phobia, with a proper approach and appropriate NLP technique that problem can go away in a moment. 

Neurolinguistic programming is not a form of therapy

It has to be noted that neurolinguistic coaching is not a substitution for medical treatment or therapy. Those sciences each have their own merits and purposes. NLP is in most cases used as an addition to the above-mentioned practices. As a concrete example, if you are sick with cancer, NLP coach will probably not be able to make cancer go away. Where it can help you is, how you perceive and deal with your illness on a psychological level.  

To conclude this short introduction to Neurolinguistic programming, you are welcome to explore if there is anything that you are currently struggling with within your life. Any challenges that you can’t seem to deal with? Recurring patterns that are present in your life? Or perhaps a limiting belief that is preventing you to excel at something?

The best suggestion is to book an Intro session and check with me if this is an issue we could work on solving. Take your first step towards being the best version of yourself! 

Continue reading “What is neurolinguistic programming and why should you care”